OrdinaryAvgGuy

04:51 pm: I have finished all of the finals I'm studying for...wait that was true yesterday...

I have finished all of the finals I'm even going to pretend to study for!

07:54 pm: Bullshit.

05:41 pm: The Rosebush
As you look at the rosebush you see beauty.
You bend down and take in the sweet smell.
You close your eyes and see the red pedals,
perfect, untarnished, strewn about you.

You smile with contentment.

You reach down take a flower,
the most beautiful thing you believe to exist,
but before you can grasp your precious rose
your hand becomes ensnared by the razor-sharp thorns.

You cannot bring yourself to pull your hand back.
You continue to reach desperately,
it is as if the red pedals are drawing you further and further
into the thorny entrapment.

Do you grasp the little flower?
Do you get to hold the piece of heaven?
Or are you left lying on the ground, alone,
as the blood runs down your arm?

10:58 am: There is a boy who lives in the park, surrounded by balloons.
They are of a vast variety: big, small, tall, round, vibrant, some dull with age.

And he ties each of them to the fence post and
stays always out of reach,
because he knows that if he holds one too close
he might lose it.

What if he holds one too tight and the balloon pops,
leaving him with colorful shreds, a length of string, and a heart of lead?

What if he holds on too tight and the string snaps,
or if his grip is too loose and the balloon floats away?

If the balloon pops, the boy will mourn.
He will pick up what is left of his balloon and lay them by the tree on the other side of the fence, and then pick up what is left of himself and move on the best he can.

If the balloon drifts into the air, the boy will chase it, leap for it,
grasp desperately for what he held so dear.
But all of his efforts will be in vane; he will finally stop
and stare up into the sky, watching with a tearful eye as his special balloon disappears into the great expanse above.

So the young boy keeps away and avoids the sadness of loss,
but also surrenders the chance to fly,
to rise up with his balloon into the sky,
the chance for contentment, for happiness.

02:57 pm: It wasn't really sad the way they said good-bye
Or maybe it just hurt so bad she couldn't cry
He packed his things, walked out the door and drove away
And she became the girl from yesterday

He took a plane across the sea
To some foreign land
She stayed at home and tried so hard to understand
How someone who had been so close could be so far away
And she became the girl from yesterday

She doesn't know what's right
She doesn't know what's wrong
She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for so long
And she doesn't count the teardrops
That she's cried while he's away
Because she knows deep in her heart
That he'll be back someday

The light's on in the window; she's waiting by the phone
Talking to a memory that's never coming home
She dreams of his returning and the things that he might say
But she'll always be the girl from yesterday
Yeh, she'll always be the girl from yesterday

-The Eagles, "The Girl From Yesterday"

Life's a bitch, fuck it, fuck it hard...

01:00 pm: So...life sucks and then ya die...

Naw...

So...

I love this song...

Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive

Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell
And give you support for being alive - being alive
Make me alive, make me confused
Mock me with praise, let me be used
Vary my days, but alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody hold me too close
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you of being alive
Being alive, being alive

Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who, like it or not
Will want you to share a little, a lot of being alive
Make me alive, make me confused
Mock me with praise, let me be used
Vary my days, but alone is alone, not alive

Somebody crowd me with love
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you to help us survive
Being alive, being alive,
Being alive, being alive.

06:28 pm: This statement is to act as a retraction of my previous rant...

And, by the way, I am stuck in Madisonville, Texas, for the night.

12:24 am: Grr...
I am thoroughly confuzzled.

I think I may be marching towards a pit of eternal fire...

If this doesn't work I am going to be genuinely 'upset' for the first time in some time...

I am done ranting...

This was actually quite short...

yes...

10:34 pm: Yes, I am actually posting...
This is the first time I've logged on in about two months...

And, now that I am here, I cannot think of what it is I wanted to say, but I will say something, because saying something is worth more than saying nothing unless, of course, one is attempting to say something by saying nothing.


There is a tale of perpetual truth, present since the world was done
That speaks of a wood and a creek, adorned by the light of the golden sun.
And in that glistening forest, a crossroads, the meeting of two paths
And from that point it is determined all that will come to pass.

There are some travelers who, blind to the light of day
Wander about the labyrinth and helplessly lose the way.
They think they can see still the guiding light ahead
But in their quest for righteousness, they leave the Light for dead.

They call their brothers sinners, and attach to them shame
They mock them, jeer them, and mark them with scarlet, burning flame.
All the while, the blaze grows hot deep within their own souls—
The shame and guilt overcome them, turning goodness into coals.

These sinners live in torment, all their shame held within,
And are chased by their demons, through a maze with no beginning and no end.
For while those adorned in flame may run to the stream,
Those whose blazes rage inside cannot even scream.

Others come to this cursed path, and are led to see
A street paved with gold, as if from a utopian dream.
And, thus, they lead their victims into this eternal hell
Shielding from the world the beast of guilt they cannot fell.

Others are not blind, but see what is not there
And fall prey to another trap, getting caught in its snare.
It is a trail lined with piercing lies and sharp thorns of false retribution—
Deceit ever gnawing through the wall, those within shouting “revolution”.

The devils, with brute force, detain others in this trap,
Until all but the center, the very core of their anger is sapped.
And then they shove these innocent souls into the scorching flame,
Unless they may save themselves by uttering some fictitious claim.

But some do stand strong when met with this trial
And go with strength to meet their fate; all of the while
Content to relinquish their lives, knowing they stood strong.
Knowing that when met with temptation, they did no wrong.

Today we walk together through the same forest of gold.
We see what we see and we are told what we are told.
But of this, it is for us to distinguish the real and the surreal
And to take this saving truth and use all that it reveals.

Even now, in this moment, we are faced with great adversity,
And we try to stop the advance of wrong we see with unnerving clarity.
Nevertheless, though we try with all our might, Evil will bring darkness upon us all,
For Satan, cunning, works to send our souls amiss, to bring our downfall.

So while the danger impending is real, our efforts are for naught
If only through violence and secret deed is our safety sought.
It is our sense of security, growing once again,
That is but a blanket feign, one that will let Lucifer in.

No wall of distrust, however great, will withstand his mighty blows
This is what the Demon wants, a pattern all though which hatred flows.
To defeat the Fallen Angel, we must find the peaceful dove
And embrace one another as brother and brother in a fellowship based on trust and love.

If we choose to walk this path, the path laid good and pure,
Then the Darkness and the Storm we are sure to endure.
And at our journeys’ end we will each reflect and say—
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

10:14 pm: So, yeah I'm confused as heck!!! Arg...What is the correct answer?

11:42 pm: What makes me go "Grr"...
I can deal with most things. I really can. But one of those things that drives me nuts is when people get on me for something I haven't done or said. Everyone screws up, and when I do I'll own up to it, but putting something on me that I have not done is just not cool.

Enough said.